My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize