I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
