i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
