Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
