More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
