community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
