so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
