I accidentally had phone sex last night
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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