I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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