my phone needs a breathalizer
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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