I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
