Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
