none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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