Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish you could order shots online.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
