we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
