I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am naked and annoyed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
