The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize