Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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