But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
