is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
