grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
