is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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