i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
