I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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