Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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