I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
