Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize