no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
