Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i think i just lost a toe
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
