Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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