ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
