Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
