I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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