I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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