I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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