idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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