Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
