When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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