If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
