ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
