I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize