Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize