I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize