Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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