Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
