I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
