oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
