I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
