Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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