We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
