Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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