I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
