The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
